What, me, worry? 3 tips to stop worrying now.

Posted on April 15, 2010
Filed Under joy list, self-care, stress | View Comments

Was just yesterday doing research on the fight or flight response, and finding really interesting things about how men and women respond to stress, fear and worry.  Did you know that there doesn’t seem to be a word that is the opposite of ‘worry’? try looking it up.

The human brain is designed to scan our environment for threats.  It’s been said that virtually all of our thoughts are not original, but are in fact responses to stimulii…so we hear, read or see something and automatically go back through our brain databanks to recall all of the times in the past when a similar situation might have been something that hurt us.
We essentially project our past into our future, and usually with a flavor of “uh, oh, now what’s going to happen bad”.

Worry I would put into the category of F.E.A.R, future expectations appearing real.  We take the stimulus, scan the past, find the bad thing that happened, and then project that into the future as if it already was happening again.  Worry.
Of course that mechanism of ours is helpful.  If you’ve ever known someone that couldn’t learn from their mistakes (my 19 year old son, for example :) ) you’d agree that being cautious is a good thing.  But chronic worry over things that haven’t yet happened (have heard it referred to as praying for something you DON”T want to happen), robs us of our strength, energy, creativity and intuition.

Like changing any other subconscious habit of thinking, you can’t just STOP worrying, but you can instill other habits that will eventually take over.

If you find yourself obsessively worrying over something, here are some things you can do immediately to instill other, more helpful habits.

1.  Assess the true danger:  Is what you are worried about a real threat, or something that you imagine MIGHT happen and if it does MIGHT be bad.  Just asking yourself the question “Is this a real or imaged threat” can help bring awareness, awareness brings consciousness, consciousness doesn’t worry.

2.  Picture a better future:  The brain doesn’t know the difference between reality and a well-imagined fantasy, which if you are a good worrier you already know.  You can get yourself all worked up over nothing.  So put that ability to good use by picturing an outcome for what you’re worried about that’s better.  If you are worried about your finances, picture yourself with resources flowing into your life from multiple sources.  If you are worried about your kids, picture them surrounded by light and love.  Focus on these images instead of the darker ones.

3.  Take positive action.  If you’ve done 1 and 2, you’ve realized that your worry is more imagined than real.  So take some positive action toward that better future you’ve imagined.  And it helps if you make that action fun. Worried about your health? Get out that R and B CD and boogie.  Worried about your job? Try bringing bubbles to work to lighten things up.  It’s hard to worry when you’re blowing bubbles…trust me.
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